i dont care how bad you bash me for having faith, and for knowing that there is something bigger than you and i out there.....are you so conceded to think humans are as good as it gets?? that we evolved from algae on a rock?? WHAT EVER!! nothing you can say to me is going to change my mind, no bull shit you found on the internet will turn what i know in my heart is true. and i cant speak for every christian i can only speak for myself, but is it really that bad or stupid to have a burning desire to live as much like Christ as i can? read a history book that talks about Him, doesnt even have to be a Bible, Jesus was selfless, His motives pure and His actions are those of love....what is so wrong with that, thats all He called us to do was to be like Him. sorry for wanting to be better than myself, because without direction from Christ, my heart is compelled to do what any other faithless heart would do, be greedy, filled with hate and anger and only seek to hurt others not help them. believe what you will, but dont judge me as ignorant or stupid for wanting to be a good person, im not here to judge anyone....thats not my job.

whoa there goes gravity.


is my life about to come crashing down? who knows......God knows. but i dont :(

i have no job, my car payment is due in 2 weeks, i went to a church today to get help with my my utilities. my washer and dryer will be picked up in the next couple days...and I HAVE NO JOB!

my best friend is in the same boat, only she has a kid too. she is taking it all very hard. she is always in a bad mood and mad at everyone even me...her best friend!! it makes it hard for me to hang out with her because she can get pretty mean and unpleasant to be around. and she is pretty upset that i have been spending so much time with my new boyfriend....and maybe i do, but she should be happy for me not jealous of him. the only few real serious relationships ive been in has always gone sour because drama is started because i dont spend enough time with her and then when i start spending more time with her im told i spend too much time with her. and not that im trying to pick favorites, but i have finally found a guy that is perfect for me, i dont want to fuck that up because of the drama she puts me through.

*sigh* im kinda scared right now, God has always provided for me, but life has been quite the roller coaster ride.

things with my new boyfriend are AMAZING!! but maybe its all just a show?? it just seems too good to be true. he fell for me QUICK! they typically do tho...but he treats me different than they usually do, he treats me better. and i like it. defiantly marriage material........

i love today.....it is a good day. I want to thank God for making me suffer so i know to enjoy the good days. without having the bad days i wouldnt realize how blessed i am. got good friends, a good man, and a GREAT God!!